After a second tragedy, we hoped we wouldn’t need to wait for another year to fall pregnant again. We started trying to conceive straight away. Luckily, I fell pregnant straight away. Those we told were full of clichés – 3rd time lucky etc. I was worried, I was worried from the day we found out.
We signed up once again with One to One midwives. I asked our midwife, due to previous experience, if there was any possibility of an early scan to check on the growing baby. This was agreed and an early scan was booked in for approx. 10 weeks.
The pain, my word, the pain. I came home from work and the pain in my right side was beyond words. I cried in absolute agony. A kind of pain I’d not felt before. It was happening again, the bleeding hadn’t started but I knew I was losing our baby.
The early scan was booked for the following day, there would be no point going to A&E . I spent the night in the worst pain, waiting, expecting the bleeding to start. But it didn’t.
As we walked into the EPAU for what felt like 100th time, the staff could tell I was in pain. They recognised us from the previous times. I think they tried to get me seen to as quickly as possible.
What happened next, I really wasn’t ready for. They scanned me, they found an empty womb. We listened the words being repeated between the staff – Ectopic Pregnancy. A million questions ran through my head, is it a real pregnancy? Would the baby be able to be saved? What does it mean?
After the consultant confirmed the ectopic pregnancy and had spoken to us, we realised how serious things were. The baby was growing in my right Fallopian tube, and at 10 weeks gestation, it was considered very advanced, and it could rupture my tube at any moment. A ruptured tube would mean internal bleeding, which is a huge risk to me. I would need surgery that day to remove the pregnancy and tube. I was taken to a ward, given painkillers and basically told not to move. I’d be in hospital at least overnight and away from my husband.
I had a lot to get my head around – our 3rd pregnancy had failed, I would be having surgery that day, and I would be having a Fallopian tube removed. I would be left with one Fallopian tube, would this half my chances of becoming pregnant? What if something happened to my left tube? I’d not be able to have children naturally. So many emotions to go through.
Surgery was fine and a success, I’m left with three small scars to remind me of that day, memories of our third baby.
The follow up was less of a success. We, naively thought we’d had three miscarriages (we had lost three babies) and surely would be eligible for some investigation of what could be causing them. We were wrong. We waited for an hour after our appointment time to meet with our consultant. We waited in the waiting area shared with pregnant women all seemingly getting good news, scan pictures of their babies, all rubbing their bumps excited about their future. It was heart wrenching.
Then, the appointment was so short, basically being told that we had only had two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. We were told the causes for miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy are different and I wasn’t suffering from recurrent miscarriage. As a token gesture I was offered a sticky blood test, which is one of the tests they do if you go through recurrent miscarriage.
The blood results came back as negative, once again we were in the dark, but now with threefold losses.